Happiness is something that everyone wants, but not everyone achieves. Why is that? Why do we sometimes sabotage our own happiness and prevent ourselves from enjoying the good things in life? In this article, we will explore some of the possible reasons why we deny ourselves the chance of happiness, and how we can overcome them.
Table of Contents
Fear of Failure
One of the most common reasons why we deny ourselves the chance of happiness is fear of failure. We are afraid that if we try something new, pursue our dreams, or express our feelings, we will fail and face rejection, criticism, or disappointment. We think that it is safer to stay in our comfort zone, where we know what to expect and avoid risks. However, by doing so, we also limit our potential and miss out on many opportunities for growth, learning, and joy.
To overcome this fear, we need to change our mindset and attitude towards failure. Instead of seeing it as something negative and shameful, we should see it as something positive and useful. Failure is not the end of the world, but a feedback that tells us what we need to improve and how we can do better next time. Failure is also a sign that we are trying something new and challenging ourselves, which is essential for our happiness and well-being. Therefore, we should not let fear of failure stop us from pursuing our happiness, but rather embrace it as a part of the process and a source of motivation.
Fear of Success
Another reason why we deny ourselves the chance of happiness is fear of success. This may sound paradoxical, but some people are actually afraid of achieving their goals and being happy. They think that if they succeed, they will lose their identity, their friends, or their sense of purpose. They worry that success will bring more pressure, responsibility, or expectations from others. They also fear that success will make them complacent, arrogant, or bored. They prefer to stay in their current situation, where they feel comfortable and familiar, even if it is not fulfilling or satisfying.
To overcome this fear, we need to realize that success is not something to be afraid of, but something to be proud of and grateful for. Success does not mean that we have to change who we are, or that we have to lose what we have. Success means that we have achieved something that we wanted, that we have made a positive impact, or that we have made ourselves and others happy. Success does not mean that we have to stop growing, learning, or improving. Success means that we have more opportunities, resources, and choices to pursue our happiness and help others. Therefore, we should not let fear of success hold us back from pursuing our happiness, but rather celebrate it as a reward and a blessing.
Fear of Happiness
A third reason why we deny ourselves the chance of happiness is fear of happiness itself. This may sound strange, but some people are actually afraid of being happy. They think that happiness is not meant for them, or that they do not deserve it. They think that happiness is temporary, fragile, or unrealistic. They worry that happiness will make them vulnerable, naive, or blind. They also fear that happiness will be followed by sadness, loss, or pain. They prefer to stay in their misery, where they feel safe and familiar, even if it is not healthy or beneficial.
To overcome this fear, we need to understand that happiness is not something to be afraid of, but something to be embraced and enjoyed. Happiness is not something that is reserved for a few, or that we have to earn or prove. Happiness is something that is available for everyone, and that we have a right and a duty to pursue. Happiness is not something that is fixed, stable, or perfect. Happiness is something that is dynamic, variable, and imperfect. Happiness does not make us weak, foolish, or blind. Happiness makes us strong, wise, and aware. Happiness is not followed by sadness, loss, or pain. Happiness is followed by more happiness, if we choose to see it and appreciate it. Therefore, we should not let fear of happiness prevent us from pursuing our happiness, but rather welcome it as a gift and a privilege.
There are many possible fears that prevent happiness, but some of the most common ones are:
- Fear of change: This is the fear of losing what we have or facing the unknown. It can make us resist new opportunities, experiences, or relationships that could bring us happiness. To overcome this fear, we need to embrace change as a natural and inevitable part of life, and see it as a chance to grow, learn, and discover.
- Fear of intimacy: This is the fear of being vulnerable, exposed, or hurt by others. It can make us avoid or sabotage close and meaningful connections that could bring us happiness. To overcome this fear, we need to trust ourselves and others, and be willing to share our thoughts, feelings, and needs with those who care about us.
- Fear of missing out: This is the fear of not having enough, not being enough, or not doing enough. It can make us compare ourselves to others, chase unrealistic goals, or neglect our own happiness. To overcome this fear, we need to appreciate what we have, accept who we are, and focus on what matters to us.
In conclusion, we have seen some of the possible reasons why we deny ourselves the chance of happiness, and how we can overcome them. We have seen that fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of happiness are all irrational and harmful, and that they only keep us from living our best lives. We have seen that happiness is not something to be feared, but something to be pursued, embraced, and enjoyed. We have seen that happiness is not something that is out of our reach, but something that is within our grasp, if we are willing to take the risk, make the effort, and face the challenge. We have seen that happiness is not something that is given to us, but something that we create for ourselves and others.
Additional Reading Resources
If you are interested in learning more about why we deny ourselves the chance of happiness, and how we can overcome it, here are some books and articles that you may find helpful:
- How Facing Fears Helps to Protect Your Mental Health
- What Is Cherophobia? How to Overcome a Fear of Happiness
- Are You Afraid to Be Happy?
- The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
- The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Sonja Lyubomirsky
- The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work by Shawn Achor
- The Fear of Happiness Scale: A Novel Measure of Psychological Well-being by Mohsen Joshanloo and Dan Weijers
- Why Do People Fear Happiness? by Raj Raghunathan